Isaiah 41:10
fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Yesterday afternoon Leah had a complete breakdown. Wednesday’s are always a little rough on her since we have a Nurturing Your Newborn class in the morning that interferes with her usual nap time, but yesterday was worse than usual. After a much too short 40 minute afternoon nap Leah woke up in a nasty mood. I tried my best to get her back to sleep, rocking her, putting her in the swing, cuddling, etc, but nothing worked. Instead, her screams just continued to get louder and more intense. When Leah gets overtired, she falls apart and will fight falling asleep with everything she’s got. After 15 minutes straight of screaming I could feel my body grow tense. I tried taking calming breaths, knowing that me being tense would only make Leah MORE tense, but my anxiousness continued to grow as her screams continued to get worse. After 20 minutes of screaming I wanted to start screaming myself. I found myself thinking “Sometimes you can be so frustrating!!” Knowing I needed to take a break I stuck her in her crib and shut the door. As I listened to her continue to cry I texted Brett saying, “Leah has been screaming her head off for 30 mins now and won’t calm down no matter what I do. Hurry home, I need a break NOW!” And my loving husband texted me back, “Coming!!!” and I felt calmer knowing I wouldn’t be alone that much longer. After a short break I went back into her room and picked her up from her crib. Looking down at her face, with tears streaming down her cheeks, my frustration melted away and I picked her up and started a second round of snuggles. 10 minutes later (as hubs walked through the door) Leah was quiet and falling asleep in my arms.

As I put her to bed that night I hugged her, told her I loved her and whispered to her that I promised to be more patient tomorrow. Having a baby can be tough and sadly it’s not all snuggles and smiles all of the time. Sometimes her screams get to be too much and I feel my frustration at her grow. I hate feeling frustrated at my baby and frustrated with myself for not knowing how to calm her. That is when I have to remind myself to turn to God in prayer. I’m not a perfect parent (nor will I ever be!) and I know patience is not my strong suit. But I love my child and I don’t want to be the type of mother who easily loses her patience with her children. Knowing this I need to continue to pray for patience when it comes to my parenting because Lord knows I want to be the best mother possible for my cute little girl. The crying will one day stop, but it will be replaced with something else…tantrums, arguing, talking back, etc as she continues to grow. I’m sure one day I’ll look back and think I was lucky when all I had to deal with was a few crying fits! Knowing this, I’m going to continue to work on my patience and, when it all seems to be too much I’ll remind myself how lucky I am to have Brett as a parenting partner (seriously, I don’t know how single moms do it!) and how blessed I am to have this child who changed our lives for the better.


6 thoughts on “Frustrated

  1. Dad says:

    Christina. Beautifully written. You are a wonderful Mother and I know your love for Leah is endless.
    I also love the payback your little girl is giving Mom and I. She is definitely a carbon copy of you as a baby. I remember a few of those screaming sessions from you.

    Brett is a great husband. Be thank for him and I know that you are.

  2. J. says:

    Thank you for writing this post! My baby is 4 weeks old, and I have been experiencing some hard times with her sleeping and crying a lot. I’ve been getting so frustrated lately and it makes me feel so bad that I get frustrated with her. But I am so exhausted! My husband feels bad, too, because he really wants to help but sometimes I get stubborn and choose no help. I am so thankful I came across this post; you don’t know how much this helps me now. Thank you!! And I hope things are going well for you guys! :))

    • Christina Lynne says:

      I’m glad this post hit home for you too! 🙂 I think it’s impossible NOT to feel frustrated at times, but I’m really trying to relax more and let my husband help more (because let’s be honest, when the baby is screaming sometimes you just want to say, “Let me take her” instead of letting him try to calm her by himself) Also, I checked out your blog and your new baby is ADORABLE! Congratulations! 🙂 They aren’t newborns for long, it goes too fast!

      • J. says:

        You are so right! haha I do tend to take control with the baby; I need to really surrender my control to my husband. I do the same thing when my baby cries and say to my husband, “Here I’ll take her.” I’m working on it, though! Glad to know this is a natural feeling! After reading your post, I’ve been saying a little prayer before the late night begins and practicing more calming exercises to prevent myself from getting very frustrated. The late nights are still the same, but I am more calm now and handling things better. I also started sharing my feelings with my husband so he now knows how to best help me!
        And thank you for the well wishes! I’m doing my best to enjoy every single moment with her! 🙂

  3. Lauren says:

    Oh boy, I can relate to this post! I have a 5 week old little boy who has reminded me that patience is SO important right now. He is such a snuggley little guy, but he hates to be put down and will scream the minute I set him down. I’m still trying to figure him out and those times when I’ve done everything possible for him and he’s still crying can be so frustrating and I find myself taking deep breaths and reminding myself to have patience.
    Thank you so much for this post!

    • Christina Lynne says:

      I feel like every new mom can relate to this, and yet we still feel guilty when it happens!! I think it’s because we all look forward to our baby being born while we are pregnant that we cannot imagine ever feeling worn out and/or frustrated with the baby. haha. Little do we know….but it’s important that we remind ourselves that we are doing the best we can and we are GREAT moms. No matter what you do, sometimes a baby just needs to cry!

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